lifewithomg

I hate this.

Why do I feel like I’m doing this alone? It’s almost as if being in a bad relationship would feel better than this painful loneliness. I constantly call, only to get a response on his own time. Too much effort was put into this relationship to receive nothing in return!

I feel depleted.

My head is whirling as I question if this is really worth it. Hidden from my tired eyes, I never noticed how much fun he was having on the other side without me.

Then, he sees me and I melt.

When we’re together, the spinning fades and it’s just us. Me and him. We dance, hand in hand, to the music he creates in his head. Everything is okay when he’s next to me.

But the spinning never stopped.

I turn to see him one last time as he stays and I move further and further away, back to the life I’m familiar with. I blink and he’s gone. Every day, the same thing, without him.

I feel empty. Like a balloon slowly deflating to nothing but a vessel. I can’t keep living like this! I collect the only energy I have left to end everything we worked for, but He wrapped me in his arms.

“I love you. I always have. Why do you keep running away? Just come home,” He says.

Me? Running? I constantly call, only to get a response on His own time. Too much effort was put into this relationship to receive nothing in return. Hidden from my tired eyes, I never noticed how much fun it was on the other side.

This eagerness… this desire to give myself completely to something unfamiliar is unnerving. What if I mess it up? Surely He couldn’t love ALL of me. It simply can’t be done!

But when we’re together, the spinning fades and it’s just us. Him and I. We dance, hand in hand, to the music He creates in his head. Everything is okay when He’s next to me.

I turn around to see His arms stretched out, waiting to greet me with a long overdue warm welcome.

God, I’m coming home.