Singleness & How To Maximize It

If you haven’t already read Singleness & Embracing Your Season, go ahead and catch up by clicking here.

So I don’t know about you, but sometimes being single can suck. When I was on vacation not too long ago, I met some new friends and we all went out to eat. While waiting for a table, I heard a guy next to me say, “I want to be like them… I want to go on dates.” I looked over to see a happy couple enjoying a meal outside on the patio. At first I was thinking, “you can take me on a date anytime!” But, as the day turned into night and the vacation came to an end, I realized that I couldn’t stop thinking about what he had said. Why did he use the tone that he did? The longing stare that he made? Will it always feel that way every time he sees a couple? Something felt too familiar. That’s when I realized that what he had said out loud was something that I used to constantly feel.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. It’s okay to want to post couples photos and finally get to use #relationshipgoals. But, it’s a dangerous game to get caught up in your emotions. Pretty soon you might find yourself depressed, eating nacho cheese flavored Doritos in your bed and googling how to be on the next season of the latest dating show. But do not fret, my friend! After multiple conversations with certifiably trustworthy people, I have compiled a list of seven ways to maximize your singleness. I call it:

7 Ways To Maximize Your Singleness

By: OMG (with inspiration from friends)

Do things you enjoy by yourself. Go to that movie you’ve been dying to see or that restaurant down the street with the amazing reviews. It doesn’t sound appealing, but it’s nothing like everyone portrays it to be. Opportunities are missed every day because we are either too scared or too lazy to do things on our own.
Do things with your family and friends. (I know, I just told you to do things by yourself, both are important.) This is a rare opportunity that seldom have. Eventually you will find your special someone but for now, the only person that you need to worry about is yourself (unless you have a special circumstance). Right now, you need to live your best life. Relish in the moment. Make connections with your community and learn from one another. Have fun! Go to concerts, play a sport together, take that weekend getaway and just live.
Get rid of the “woe is me” mentality. Yes, you’re single! We get it, you’re tired of being alone. Tired of feeling like you’ll never get the love drug that seems to be spreading like a wildfire. But let me tell you something, singleness is not bad! Let me repeat that: singleness is not bad. No, that would be getting depressed and losing yourself in the process. Don’t envy someone else’s relationship simply because you think that’s what you want.
Start journaling. Write for 5-10 minutes every day and just record your thoughts. You’ll be amazed when you look back at your entries a year later and see how much you’ve grown. Singleness isn’t something to be afraid of or dread. It’s a season that is meant for growth and development.
Discover who you are. What are you interests? Hobbies? Are you the type that likes the toilet paper up or down? What annoys you? What makes you laugh? Do you like the cookie or the cream in Oreos? You know, just the basic stuff.
Enjoy who you are. Again, similar but very different. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself! Don’t just do things because you want to pass the time, fill that space with purpose. Make your decisions on purpose. Re-read that and let it sink in for a second.
Most importantly, form a strong relationship with Christ (and keep it!) Read your Bible, pray every day, allow Him to be your friend. How can you say you’re ready to be in a serious relationship if you can’t even keep something consistent with the One that created you?

Let’s talk about that last point. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told to “form a relationship with Christ”. At least once a month. But what does it mean to truly be in a relationship? It’s defined as a connection, association, or involvement. All three of these are needed to have a successful relationship… it’s a packaged deal! You can’t connect with Christ and then decide not to associate yourself with him on the weekends when you’re going out to the club. Just the same, you can’t say you’re involved in a serious relationship with Christ if you’ve never connected and cracked open your Bible. Staying in your word and being consistent with God is no joke! If it were easy, everyone would do it. Obeying His word, staying away from temptations, and remaining pure through it all is hard, sometimes brutal. But, the Lord will equip you as you face daily battles.

God only wants what is best for you. After all, you are His child. Trust the process. This is only for a season, it just might be a very temperamental one. That being said, we shouldn’t rush something that we might not be ready for. Just as it says in Isaiah 55:8-9,

8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Please remember, this isn’t a list on How To Win a Date In 10 Easy Steps. They are simply tools that will hopefully help you the way it has and still is helping me. If a sassy, overly dramatic person like myself can do it, you can too.

Just a single Pringle in a big can of chips,

OMG