lifewithomg

It’s about to get real deep, real quick. But before I dive in I have to add a little disclaimer. Online dating isn’t for everyone. It’s certainly not something I’d like to repeat. I have met many people who have found their spouse/someone special online and don’t regret their decisions. If you’re considering trying something new, remember that there are CRAZY people in this world who don’t have the best intentions. Several have found love, but many more have had negative experiences. Be careful, and be safe.

If you’re contemplating getting an account with any dating app out there, let me give you a quick summary so you don’t waste your time. (I certainly wasn’t going to jump in to this without doing thorough research, so you’re welcome.) Most of them you need to pay to actually get good results, and that’s just ridiculous to give them your money. Everything else is just used to “hook up”. It’s not a myth, it’s true. But, even though that’s what some users do, that doesn’t mean you need to put yourself in a situation where you feel cornered or pressured to do something you don’t want to do or shouldn’t. It’s obvious who is trying to “pollute your garden”, it’s your job to keep the pesticides strong and kill off any unwanted “weeds.” Your safest bet is to not get one at all. Trust me on this one.

In a society that is centered around technology, everything is available at the click of a button, including dating apps. For the sake of time, I’ll just say that I signed up because of a dare. Now, I’m the type of person that will not participate in dares if I feel uncomfortable, even if it means upsetting my team and losing the game. I accepted this challenge simply out of curiosity. I guess I forgot that’s what killed the cat…

I like to observe people and my surroundings. These apps were a perfect opportunity to do just that! You could read bios, look at pictures, and find out how great of a life everyone was pretending to have. Swipe left on the people that weren’t your type and right on the ones you liked. Simple. Honestly, whenever I was bored I would just swipe left on everyone because it was funny. That’s when I saw him. It was the type of person that you see and think, “that’ll never happen.” I swiped right, he swiped right. WE MATCHED. I didn’t know what to do!! Freak out like a teenager with no common sense? Throw my phone across the room?? Respond with a simple “Hey”?! I decided not to entertain the thought and made the ultimate decision to delete all of the apps after I got off work that night. Unfortunately, my plan backfired before I even made it in my car to go home. He messaged me first. Honestly, I never saw that coming. That’s probably why I didn’t listen to the soft voice in the back of my head warning me about engaging in conversation. I tuned it out by the excitement that he actually messaged me. First mistake.

Because now is not the appropriate time to be throwing shade, let’s call this guy Mr. Not So Right. (Quit trying to guess who he is because none of you know him). Now, he was definitely on the attractive side and very nice. We talked every night. He felt so right, but everything was so wrong. After the second day, when I KNEW in my heart that we weren’t compatible (probably because he was visiting from out of the country), I decided to ignore the knowledge I gained and just entertain the idea that someone was interested. Second mistake. I thought of everything, skies the limit. I could missionary date, but then I realized that was a waste of time. I could meet him half way, but that’s just plain stupid. The pros and cons list was obviously leaning towards cons, but… he had an accent. That’s gotta be worth something, right? He smoked some, but he was a great older brother. We had completely opposite religions, but I could deal with that later. I cherish my sleep and he only talked late at night, but I could manage. All of this for a guy who didn’t even know my last name! (Come on guys, like I’d actually give him my full name. I’m not THAT crazy).

I don’t know what happened next, really. This took place months ago and it’s still a little fuzzy. One day we were talking and the next we weren’t. Almost like he vanished. I don’t understand what went wrong. I knew better from the moment I realized our faith was different that he was someone I shouldn’t show interest in, but I did anyways. This next part makes me curl on the inside: I fell for it. I fell for the devil’s trap to get me sidetracked from what was important. I lost sight of the goals that I wanted to accomplish and started to focus on Mr. NSR. This next part made me feel ashamed and embarrassed: I had the nerve to get mad at God for taking away something so “great.” (Toxic is more like it).

It was bad. I was livid. I didn’t understand why God would take away something/one that made me feel so special. It’s funny, really. I was mad at God for taking away something that should have never been in my life to begin with. He was just doing His job as the Protective Daddy and I was putting on boxing gloves, ready to swing as soon as I heard the bell go off. I was hurt and too prideful to admit that I was wrong and once again, tried to take matters into my own hands. I was embarrassed, rejected, and confused. The worst part is, I didn’t have to be! I didn’t listen to my heart, my family members who advised against me joining the apps, my friends who didn’t agree with my actions, or the voice of God that never left. I chose to feel that way and can’t blame anyone else but myself.

Have you ever doubted God? Like you know what’s best for your life, so you’re just going to take the reins for a little bit and steer in the direction that you think will benefit you the most? “Just sit back and relax, God. I’ll take it from here.” Yeah, good luck with that one. Trust me, it will only cause more harm.

The Protector. That’s who God is. He longs to love us and protect us from all hurt, harm, and danger. Unfortunately, we live in a world where there are consequences for our actions. That’s a result of free will. God gave us free will because even though His love is more than we could ever think or imagine, He wants us to choose to love Him. He continues to watch over us and directs us away from things that are not a part of His plan for our lives, but ultimately it’s our choice whether we allow Him to work in us and through us. Have you ever been mad at God for taking away something you thought was good for you? Have you considered that just maybe, it was the only way He could open the door to something better?

You probably haven’t had it out with God simply because someone ghosted you. Maybe you didn’t get the raise you deserved and the new guy that everyone seems to love received it instead. Maybe you made a decision you thought was right long ago, ended up regretting that choice, and are still suffering consequences today. Whatever decisions we’ve made in our past do not have to dictate our future. Holding on to bitterness is dangerous. Not only does it affect your heart, but your relationship with God. I was determined to stay mad for as long as possible and push any feelings of hurt aside. I couldn’t function. My worship turned into simply singing along to songs. I didn’t feel a connection with God and it was painful to revisit the past. Our hearts long for a love that only God can fulfill. We constantly turn to worldly desires that only satisfy us temporarily. That’s no way to live! I long for a love that no relationship here on Earth can satisfy. Don’t you?

I encourage you to let it go. It truly isn’t worth your time. Drop that thick wall of pride that you set up long ago and just apologize. Our Heavenly Father is waiting for you with His arms open wide saying, “come to me!” The Bible clearly states in Numbers that the Lord is “slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion..” He only wants to give you the life that He intended you to have and you so deserve to have it. Learn to let go, and let God.

Swiping right for Jesus,

OMG

P.S. Always remember that God’s timing is perfect. If that means staying single is where I am for this season of my life then so be it. It’s time we all learned to be content with the lives we have. Just be you!