lifewithomg

The following stories are true events that helped shaped me to be the woman I am today. (My mother remembers things slightly differently, but that’s beside the point.)

Cool Girls Accessorize

The Summer before I started junior high, I decided that it was time for me to be popular. So, I made a shopping list of everything I would need to accomplish this long desired dream. I needed bracelets, necklaces, rings, belts with large buckles, earrings, and lipgloss. For my locker, I would need new Lisa Frank journals and notebooks, mechanical pencils, wallpaper for the sides of my locker, shelves, book covers, and a disco ball. Pink and glitter was the vibe. Clothing? Simple: American Eagle, Justice, and Wet Seal… all places I had never shopped. I gave myself a budget of $100 (respectable), practiced my speech, and scheduled a meeting with my parents. What I failed to consider were the three other preteens in my house that I called siblings who like to be annoying and ruin things.

I presented my case, defended my plan despite my siblings interrupting, and told everyone the benefits of me looking stylish on the first day of school. I persevered and even offered to lower my budget to $50. What did my family do? Laugh. All of them! My 11 yr old self begged and pleaded, but my parents didn’t budge. In the end, I convinced them to let me get a shelf from the office supply store and I found some wrapping paper at Dollar Tree. Walking down the hallway during orientation that fall, my eye caught a glimpse of something glistening inside another girl’s locker. Yes, it was indeed, a disco ball.

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Degree Deodorant

My mom use to work with a lot of women. In the public bathrooms, they always had complimentary toiletries. The coolest thing was the new deodorant in the aerosol can Degree had just released. I begged and begged my mom to buy me my own can so then I could offer it to girls in the locker room on the first day of school and make friends. My mother said no, it was too expensive and I already had deodorant at home (I could use the community stick that my siblings and I would fight over). I cried. I KNEW this was my ticket to long lasting friendships! My mother eventually caved and bought me the can. #winning

First day of school in seventh grade rolls around. I was so nervous. Body shaming wasn’t something I was familiar with too much until junior high. We started changing out of our gym clothes and I proudly sprayed the new deodorant on my body. The pretty girl to my left said, “EW. What is that SMELL?!” I said, “it’s my deodorant. It’s just powder scented!” She asked me to stop spraying it and so I did. In fact, I never brought it out again. Sorry, mother.

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Tough Skin

Being in a big family is tough, but especially if you’re sensitive like little me was. Boys will be boys and sisters tend to fight. I don’t remember how old I was, but I was old enough to write and it was before third grade. My older brothers were mean and gross and my sister never listened to what I told her to do. I just couldn’t be around them or that environment anymore, so the logical thing for me to do next was run away. I figured I could walk to my aunt’s house at the end of the cul-de-sac and crash with her, then I would make the two mile trek to my grandmother’s and stay with her until I figured out the rest. I wrote my parents a letter and explained my situation, told them I just didn’t think I was cut out for the family, and asked their opinions. (I know, I know.) They both came in my room later that night and we discussed my “plan”. I really don’t remember the rest, but I cried, they said they loved me and I belonged with the rest of them and we were family. We prayed and then said goodnight. I closed my eyes and felt loved and seen.

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Disobedient Children

My old neighbors were really really cool kids. They always got to stay out really late and play while we would innocently look out the window and watch them. (In reality, it was really like 8pm and we just had an early bedtime because we were all under the age of 10). One time in the Summer, they got a trampoline and it was oh so cool. They always invited us over and we would have a blast, but we were absolutely NOT allowed to play on the trampoline.

One day while my parents were gone and my aunt was watching us, my siblings went to go play outside with the neighbors and went on the trampoline. I, being the responsible child I was, reported my siblings to my aunt, who then told my parents. When they got home, we ALL got in trouble. Talk about a backfire.

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Awkward Hugs

While on a college visit, I ran into my older brother’s friend. He was the one that every girl had a crush on, but he’d never see you like that because, you know… he was your brother’s best friend. I didn’t understand that concept growing up, but by the time college rolled around, the crush phase was long gone. The awkward feeling that he still saw me as a child, did not. He saw me and ran over to say hello. I went in for the formal handshake while he went in for the informal side hug. My brain hit a refresh and I went in for the informal side hug, while he went in for the formal handshake. Third times a try. We both went in for the side hug, but I couldn’t figure out what to do with my left arm. Put it around him? But that’s a bear hug. Pat the shoulder that’s closest to me? That doesn’t feel right either. I just let it hang there next to me. Driving home that night, I replayed the awkward moment over and over in my head. To this day, I still don’t know where to put my left arm.

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That Time Someone Called Me A Terrorist

In sixth grade, I decided to end my last year in elementary school with a bang and signed up for the talent show. My friend, Lexi, signed up too and decided to dance. She was a beautiful dancer. I was not. But, I loved to sing! I had never performed in front of anyone besides my sister and my family only heard me if I was being too loud… which was often. One of the requirements was to do a mini audition in front of your class, but the bell rang right as my audition started, so I honestly never even had the chance to practice in front of people. Perfect.

The morning of, my mom asked me to practice in front of her and I was so nervous that if I had been wearing boots, I would’ve been shaking in them. I couldn’t even look at her! She told me not to sound EXACTLY like the track and just be myself. I got offended, snappy, and shut down.

So many singing acts. So many girl groups belting the new hit, “Our Song” by Taylor Swift that it was almost comical. But I wasn’t allowed to listen to that type of music, so I chose something I knew and loved. The big moment approached and I stood backstage, ready to be announced. My first big debut! The 10 yr old host announced my name and told the audience I’d be singing “Set the World on Fire” by Britt Nicole. I walked up to grab the mic from him and he whispered, “Terrorist.” Thanks for that, Samuel.

The song started and I wasn’t half bad. Towards the end of the song I even managed to do a little spin! My mother recorded the whole thing and even told my aunt about my little spin. My family was proud and kids in my grade complimented me at recess. I honestly don’t know how I had the courage back then to do all of that, but nonetheless, it was a big moment for me. Sixteen years later, I still think of that day and smile.

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Things I’ve learned over the years? I like to live the bougie lifestyle, but only on someone else’s dime. Preteen girls can be mean. I should’ve stuck up for myself a lot more when I was younger. Obeying your parents is cool, but showing off an awesome trick on the trampoline is also cool. I can be a tad dramatic. Snitches DO get stitches, but that still didn’t stop me. I tend to overthink even the slightest of things.

Even at a young age, my convictions were strong. If I was my authentic self earlier in life and stopped trying act a certain way all the time, I probably would’ve become that popular person I so craved to become. If 10 year old me was brave enough to sing in front of hundreds of people, 26 year old me can do anything.

Be you. Do you. For you.

P.S. Pray for my parents, y’all. They’ve been through a lot, lol!